I Keep Dreaming of Snakes
Photo by David Clode on Unsplash
Insight on being birthed into womanhood (again)
I keep dreaming of snakes. Whether at my feet, or at my throat, I’ve had multiple interactions. And the primal fear that arises from my root chakra all the way to my heart is (r)evolutionary. Never bitten, nor attacked, I still have such a visceral response to coming into contact with something so beautiful yet so threatening. It’s the rise of the feminine. That kundalini energy they talk about. That lays dormant. Until it doesn’t anymore.
A few months before I turned 26, I felt different. I felt like I had actually grown into womanhood and understood on blood and bone level, more of what that meant to embody. What a privilege, what a responsibility, and what a pleasure to be able to grow and mature into. The way things get better, sweeter, more ripe over time. What the people these days refer to as aging like fine wine.
When I was in my early twenties I thought I knew what this meant and more importantly what this felt like. I was wrong. Your twenties are interesting. Early, middle and late twenties feel like lifetimes apart with palpably different versions of self we’ve bloomed and blossomed into. I’ve died more times than I can count, and because of that, I’ve never felt more alive and present. My values are changing. What I care about is changing.
My connection with Mother (Earth) has never been stronger, and with that, a mother’s instinct. A level of intuition that has considerably sharpened with time, and the feminine urge to nurture, care for, serve is at an all time, irresistible, high. It’s sensual. Different than strictly sexual. Embodiment is less about how the body looks, which is to use it to control and manipulate (power dynamics), which many of us, including myself, are guilty of. And way more about how it feels.
How does it feel to occupy this vessel? Fully this time? To come all the way into it, and kiss the present moment of time? Precious. It feels precious. A space where nothing can be taken for granted and everything is to be grateful for. We grow in our capacity to be in a state of gratitude, joy, pleasure more often. How things feel, taste, smell, look, sound all matter. Incredibly so. They impact our wellbeing immensely. Things feel hot, juicy, spicy, soft, prickly, chilly, warm, wet, and wild. Like eating fruit that you let drip all over your body. These sacred moments are what make life worth living. That have the ability to stop time in its tracks and expose us to the multiple dimensions and realities we have in this one moment. We can rush, or we can flow. We can hurry, or we can enjoy.
It’s like a second chance at life. A second puberty. A rebirth.
